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THE GAME:

Beanie hit the line like a freight train and bounced back about three yards and then pulled out the slingshot move and blasted himself through a hole like a goosed rocket. Fifty-five yards later he did his bunny hop into the end zone. That slingshot move was awesome. It was like when Kirk and Spock did the slingshot move around the sun and it flung them so fast they went back in time and ended up fifty-five years away from where they started. Beanie is going to be SO missed next year.

The game went pretty much as expected. Both teams came in with 7-2 records but that is where all similarities ended. Northwestern sold out to stop the run and Pryor beat them with his arm and smoked them with his legs on end-around runs. It was fun to watch. But don't get too excited, next week we will be wondering how all of that great offense disappeared in one short week.

I'm going to go on a little rant here. Watching ESPN2 was actually painful. Between the gazillion commercials and ESPN promos and little people walking across the bottom of the screen and animated Play Station football players and how to cook chili and eggs and the old library of LP's that they showed THREE freakin' times and techno drawings of a Terrelle Pryor, it was kind of like "Okay, what can we do as a TV station to distract our viewers from the football game?"

And those two jerks in the booth. They showed them between almost every play as they went on and on about the lack of African American coaches and how horrible it was for Tressel to fake a punt in the forth quarter and questioning why we were passing the ball in the forth quarter and on and on and on. I'm telling you, that was the worst college football television production I have ever seen in my life. When did it become more important to listen to two talking heads than watch a replay of a great run? I can't tell you how many times they would come back from one of their obnoxious commercials and the play would be half over. I was begging for replays and getting nothing but a continuous stream of meaningless babble.

Here's the thing. All of that complaining Andre Ware was doing about Tressel running up the score, guess who one of the biggest offenders of that was? Andre Ware played for the University of Houston from 1987 through 1989. In his senior year they scored over 60 points five times. And did he mention that little beating of SMU by 95-21? That's right, 95-21. I guess he didn't have any trouble embarrassing other teams if it helped him get his stat-padded Heisman.

THAT WHICH WAS:
   It was a good week. My Saturdays always start about 9:30 when I break out a few snacks and get adjusted on the couch and turn on Game Day and listen to Herbie go on and on about the SEC. It ends when the last game I can get on TV ends or I pass out, always sometime after midnight. Cincinnati's field goal in overtime to beat West By God Virginia pretty much ended the day this week.
   Alabama beat LSU 27-21. It was one of those rare games where I just couldn't decide who to root for. It was like picking between Satan and Hitler. I was always an Alabama fan but Nick The Snake Saban ended that. And I was at the BCS Championship game last year and was called Tiger Bait about three thousand times. As those were the worst fans I ever had to meet, I went with Alabama. Forgive me, oh football Gods.
   Auburn beat Tennessee-Martin 37-20. See, that IS a bird, Auburn couldn't beat a football team.
   Ball State moved to 9-0 and is getting closer to that BCS little brother opening.
   Boise State moved to 9-0 and is getting closer to that BCS little brother opening.
   Utah moved to 10-0 and is getting closer to that BCS little brother opening.
   Cal hung in until late in the forth quarter and then fell to the Men of Troy 17-3. Pete Carroll just can't understand why USC is not #1. Let's see, you lost at home to an unranked team and you play in the worst conference in America. Oh yeah, and what ever happened about that Reggie Bush thing?
   FSU beat Clems-son 41-27. "Shucks, you just don't do that to one of my boys, Ya'll understand?"
   East Carolina became bowl eligible with a 19-16 win over Marshall. "Arrrr mate, we be in the Booty Bowl."
   Illinois lost to Western Michigan. How embarrassing. That makes this week's showdown with the Buckeyes their bowl game. I am sure they were looking past WM to OSU and have been saving things all year and Juice Williams will run for 200 yards before we lay a single hand on him. But then, there is that revenge thing....
   Iowa became bowl eligible with the upset of Penn State. Bobby Bowden is closing back in on JoePa in the wrinkle race. The problem is that there is no hare in this race, they're both turtles.
   meeeshitagin moved to a stunning 3-6 with a 29-6 upset of Minni-soso. During those six loses they were just holding back plays for the Ohio State game. Well, why else would the old, proud wolverettes be 3-6?
   Michigan State beat Purdon't 21-7 to move into a tie for first place in the conference with Penn State and Ohio State. They have a bye week next week which gives them two weeks to prepare for a trip to Happy Valley which could actually lead to a trip to Pasadena.
   N. Carolina beat Georgia with a Tech 28-7. Butch Davis will own the ACC in another year or two. Of course, that's like owning a Chevy at a Lexus dealership.
   $Notre Dame was shut out by Boston College, 17-0. They now stand at 5-4 and need 9 wins to sniff the BCS. They end their season with Navy, Suckacuse and USC. Under their new deal, the BCS is paying them one million dollars to stay away.
   Oklahoma cranked out another 66 points, this time on Texas with an A&M.
   Oregon State really doesn't like the southern California area. After upsetting USC earlier, they beat UCLA this week, 34-6. If they win out they go to the Rose Bowl. Wouldn't that be a kick in the Petey Carroll pants?
   Penn State lost at Iowa on a last second field goal. JoePa said "Hey, its time to move on." When you've been through this as many times as he has a loss for a shot at the national championship just means its time to move on. Besides, there's bigger fish (Bobby Bowden) to fry.
   Tennessee lost their head coach and then the players showed how upset they were by immediately going out and losing to Wyoming. Wyoming, as in the Mountain West Conference. Wow, Wyoming moved to 3-6. Wow.
   Wake awoke and found themselves bowl eligible. The Forest is full of surprises this year.
   Mount Union faced their biggest challenge of the year and prevailed 49-20. Nate Kmic rushed for 166 yards and scored three TD's which put his career total at 111 and makes him the all time, all division leader. Greg Micheli was his usual 20-27 completions for 297 yards and no interceptions. Here's another name, Cecil Shorts. Shorts is a first year full time starting wide receiver that caught three touch down passes to give him 19 for the season which ties him for the school record. Now, this is a school that has had the most prolific offenses in the country for the last twenty years so that is a pretty amazing stat.

THAT WHICH WILL BE:
   puBYU at Air Force. Air Force has stayed under the radar and finds themselves at 8-2 facing puBYU at 9-1. Should be a hell-of-a-game in Colorado Springs.
   Arizona at Oregon. These two teams are fighting for third place in the conference.
   Georgia at Auburn. This game used to mean something.
   Idaho at Boise State. Losing team has to peel three billion potatoes. You say pa-ta-to, I say pa-tah-to, Dan Quail says potatoe.
   Boston College at Florida State. After that big shut out win over $Notre Dame, BC will lose but they will still feel good about it. Afterglow.
   Cal at Oregon State. I guess there are still a few games that are relevant in this irrelevant conference.
   South Carolina at Florida. Spurrier goes home AGAIN. How many times will ESPN try to make a big deal out of this? At Florida, Spurrier had the best talent in the country. At South Carolina he has,...well,...he doesn't have the top talent in the country.
   Middle Tennessee at Western Kentucky. Just kidding. This game has more to do with Stills than Crosby, Nash or Young.
   Minni-soso at Whiskey. Wisconsin is 5-5 and fighting for a bowl spot. Minni is 7-3 and fighting for a good bowl spot. Look for Wisconsin to pound the ball for about 300 yards and become bowl eligible.
   $Notre Dame at Navy. Navy is 6-3 so this is $Notre Dame's next chance to beat a team with a winning record. Actually, its their last chance as they end with Suckacuse (worst team in the country) and USC at USC. I've seen that perfect storm and I don't see Captain Charlie making it to shore after the ship sinks.
   Washington at UCLA. Its been a two game dry spell but Washington is worse than Syracuse and Syracuse is the worst team in the country.
   North Carolina St. at Wake Forest. I struggle with this every time. N.C. St. is in Raleigh which is where the city of Wake Forest is. Wake Forest University is in Winston-Salem which is named after a cigarette. They are only about an hour's drive apart but N.C. St. looks at Wake Forest like a bunch of elitists and Wake Forest, like Northwestern, Stanford, Vanderbilt and $Notre Dame, look down their collective noses at their less academically challenged brethren. Then, usually, they get the crap beat out of them. This year is different. Wake to win by two touch downs!
   Mount Union at Marietta. Marietta is 2-7. Mount will be up 49-0 at the half and will rest the starters to get ready for the playoffs. Yes, in Div III you have to play the best teams in the country for five straight weeks to win the national championship. That's called a playoff and it determines the best team in the country and it does it ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD.
   Ohio State at Illinois. Last year Juice Williams had a career day and ran all over the Buckeyes but it was the worst call of the year by the officials that ultimately gave the win to Illinois. Illinois is 5-5 and desperately needs a win to get to a bowl game. They are coming off of an embarrassing loss to a MAC school and will pull out all of the stops. BUT Ohio State loses back to back games to Illinois about once a century and the seniors are really pissed about last year. I see a hard fought Big Ten game in the cold and wind but I don't see Ohio State losing this one.
 
The Coach

Tags: chris wells, ohio state football, terrelle pryor