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Say it ain't so, Manny. Ok, so describing this latest steroid controversy as the downfall of a beloved American sports hero is perhaps too strong for this day and age, but something about this particular situation brings a pang or two of sadness to me.

Maybe it's because I still vividly remember the fun, exciting, dominant Indians team of the mid 90's and beyond that Manny was such an integral part of. Or perhaps it's because despite how much I then despised him for leaving Cleveland and winning World Series titles with the hated Red Sox instead, I always got some enjoyment out of watching him play and how comfortable he was with just enjoying the game and life in general.

Or perhaps it's because I've always had difficulty getting too angry about the steroid users, in part because it's obviously so common throughout most sports, but also because I could never completely convince myself that if I were in those same shoes that I too may have used steroids to extend a career doing something I loved and make millions of more dollars for my family.

But I think the strongest reason my reaction now tilts more toward sadness rather than anger is because I sense my own disinterest with the game of baseball growing. It's in large part the accumulated result of so many players once considered great for what they accomplished on baseball's hallowed field of history, now being booed and ridiculed by the same fans that once adored them, and Hall of Fame voters vowing to never vote for any player proven to be part of the steroid user's club.

No longer being able to believe that any baseball player accomplishing great hitting deeds on the field of play today is not also using some form of performance enhancing drug causes a degree of doubt that shoots a huge whole through the part of my heart I had devoted to the game of baseball.

Perhaps some think I'm overstating this and should just forget about it, get over it and continue to enjoy the game. But for me there's another factor. My 8 year old son, still learning to enjoy and play the game and discovering its fabulous intricacies, will not be able to have the same appreciation and even wonder and awe of the game's best performers that was always so part of the fun and even magic of the game of baseball for generation upon generation of kids.

I can't help but think that somehow all this will change the essence of the game, in fact for many it already has. We've lost something that once was special, and it's sort of like trying to re-wrap a Christmas present when you were a kid and had sneaked a look at it and then still tried to feign surprise on Christmas morning. Something was lost from the enjoyment of the moment and there was no way to get it back. Players like Manny Ramirez, Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez and all the others have done just that. They've unwrapped presents for millions of kids (and kids at heart), and now there's no way to wrap them back up.

Someone say it ain't say so.

Tags: alex rodriguez, barry bonds, manny ramirez, steroids