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EXPECTATIONS:

  So, before the season started, if you were told that Ohio State would go 10-2 and beat meeeshitagin and win an outright Big Ten championship and play in the Rose Bowl, would you have been smiling or frowning? My guess is that you would have been pretty happy with that. I gave my analysis of the team in a newsletter and said that I felt we would go 10-2 and possibly 11-1 if we got lucky. I assumed we would lose to USC and either Penn State or Wisconsin but 10-2 was about all we could realistically expect with the senior losses we had and the youth on offense. So they pretty much met my expectations. They maybe even exceeded them by winning the Big Ten outright. So why don't I feel like my expectations were met and exceeded?

"Name a sport where the offense's job is to make things easier for the defense and I will sell you a warehouse in Detroit."

  Well, it might have something to do with the fact that we have NO OFFENSE. I wouldn't trade Jim Tressel for any coach in the country but I just can't understand why we can't have a defense AND an offense. Once again, Tressel said this week that he considers the primary job of the offense is " ... to put the defense in good position." Huh? If you asked a thousand coaches what the primary job of the offense is you would get a thousand answers the same; "To score points." Name a sport where the offense's job is to make things easier for the defense and I will sell you a warehouse in Detroit.

  It still drives me crazy that we lost to USC. Watching that fourth quarter was like getting stuck in the eye with a sharp stick. Everyone in the country knew that a five point lead was not going to hold up. It didn't against Penn State the year before and it didn't against Texas in the Fiesta Bowl. Yet, we just continued to pound the tailback up the middle for one yard gains. We had our foot on their throat and wouldn't step down. And finally, with two minutes to go and our defense gasping for air, USC put together their only good drive. Oh, and by the way, the offense left the defense in good position the entire second half. They just didn't score enough points.

"The Purdue game was simply a fluke. We had a discombobulated offense line and a bunch of young players that didn't understand the importance of getting up for every conference game and the game plan from Hell"

  The Purdue game was simply a fluke. We had a discombobulated offense line and a bunch of young players that didn't understand the importance of getting up for every conference game and the game plan from Hell. The coaches called a really crappy game and the players answered by playing really crappy. But you have to hand it to the team and the coaches, from that point on they played hard and focused and beat up Penn State, Iowa and meeeshitagin. That's six straight against the wolverettes and five straight conference championships and a BCS bowl game so yeah, all in all, I'm a pretty happy Buckeye.

  But talk about disrespect. We win the Big Ten outright and only get two players on the first team of the All Big Ten team. And how's this? Jim Tressel has won or shared six Big Ten titles, been to three national championship games and won one of them, and has beat his arch rival meeeshitagin eight out of nine years and has never been voted Big Ten Coach of The Year. I guess if they had a Big Ten Coach of The Decade they would have to give it to him.

THAT WHICH WAS:

  Auburn just couldn't get it done. I've hated Auburn since Pat "Tie" Dye was there and I always cheered for Bama until Nick "The Snake" Saban became a football whore and sold himself to the highest bidder. I found myself rooting for Auburn and, of course, they disappointed me once again. Alabama 26-21.

  Arizona moved to 7-3 with a 20-17 win over Arizona State and has a chance to really improve their bowl position with a win at home next week against USC. Of course, I probably have a better chance of getting a date with Julia Roberts.

  LSU beat Arkansas 33-30 in overtime. This time Les Miles remembered to call a time out and even got his field goal unit on the field in time. Every time I watch Ryan Mallet throw the ball I thank God that Dick Rod went to meeeshitagin and drove Mallet away with his silly ass spread read offense.

  Boston College beat Maryland 19-17. Yeah, I know, so what?

  Boise State struggled a little with Nevada but pulled it out 44-33. They will be 13-0 and not have a shot at the national championship game. Of course, if they had played in a real conference they wouldn't be 13-0.

  pubyu beat Utah 26-23 in overtime. Joseph H. Smith, what a game!

  Illinois and the Zookster once again embarrassed the Big Ten by losing to Cincinnati 36-49. There is going to be an opening at $Notre Dame and that Ron Zook can really recruit.

  Clems-son fell to South Carolina 34-17. I'm sorry my dear southern friends but the ACC really sucks this year. They're even worse than the Big Ten and almost as bad as the Big Least.

  Speaking of bad ACC teams, Duke was Duke again. Wake took them in the Forest and beat their very large brains out.

  East Carolina beat So. Mississippi 25-20 to win the Conference USA East. Arrrgh, we be 8-4 and we be kickin' arse. Please be givin' us $Notre Dame in a bowl game.

"Of course we're pulling recruits out of Florida like they were hanging chads so I'm good with Bowden staying as long as he wants."

  Florida State fell to Pope Urban of Meyer 10-37. Bobby is a living legend but how on earth do those people put up with him for another year? Of course we're pulling recruits out of Florida like they were hanging chads so I'm good with him staying as long as he wants.

  Georgia beat Georgia Tech 30-24. That's the third ACC team I've mentioned already that should have beaten an SEC team and failed to do so. Yuk.

  Tennessee beat Kentucky 30-24. Lane Kiffin ended his first season at 7-5 and survived all of the death threats from the other SEC head coaches.

  Mississippi State upset Ole Miss 41-27. Hee Haw!

  Navy lost to Hawaii 24-17. Are you kidding me? How does a good Navy team lose to a team $Notre Dame beat in last year's Aloha Bowl? Oh yeah, when sailors hit the beach in Hawaii it ain't exactly football they are looking for if you know what I mean.

  North Carolina lost to North Carolina State 27-28. Just when the Tar Heels thought they had turned the corner on the program they lost to a pretty crappy Wolfpack team that reached 5-7. Butch, you're not with the Browns any more, you can win all you want now.

  The Oklahoma Sooners came back from the dead to ruin Oklahoma State's season with a 27-0 shutout. When Bob Stoops heard his name was on $Notre Dame's short list he figured if he won his last game he could get to seven wins on the season and that would look pretty good to the Domers.

  Two weeks ago when Pitt beat a pretty bad $Notre Dame team and we beat a very good Iowa team Pitt jumped us in the polls. This week they lost to West By God Virginia 19-16 and fell back to their rightful place below us.

  Texas moved to 12-0 with a 49-39 win over arch rival Texas A&M. Colt McCoy had over 400 yards of offense and should have wrapped up the Hiesman Trophy that he should have received last year. Of course, he must beat Nebraska this week in the Big 12 championship game to pry it from the clutched hands of Saint Tebow.

  In case you missed it USC was up 21-7 over UCLA  with under a minute to go. Pete Carroll had his team take a knee to run the clock out. Rick Neuheisel saw that as an insult and called a time out. THAT pissed Petey off because he was just trying to do the right and merciful thing so he called for a bomb to the end zone that worked and USC went up 28-7. THAT really pissed off Neuhiesel who said in his post game interview that he would have taken three time outs which, once again, pissed off Petey. Yes, these are adults and yes, they have ego issues. Ya just gotta love rivalry week.

  The Washington Huskies moved to 3-9 by beating the 1-11 Washington State Cougars 30-0 in the rough and tumble fight for the old Apple Cup. Ahhhh, football in the Northwest, it just doesn't get any better than that. By the way, these were two of Charlie Cheeseburger's six wins.

  And speaking of the dead man eating, $Notre Dame traveled to Stanford to lose to The Cardinal 38-45. Is it ironic that $Notre Dame would lose to a Cardinal? Anyway, $Notre Dame's defense was so bad that with about a minute left in the game they just stood there and let Stanford score so they could get the ball back with a minute to go and an overtime in their pocket. They were hoping to drive the length of the field and go for a tie. Of course they couldn't stop the big running back the entire game so I don't know what made them think they could if it got to overtime. Anyway, it never came to that and Charlie was called home by the real Cardinals. When the white smoke turns black they will have a new coach.

  Mount Union advanced to the third round of the playoffs by beating the Monclair State Red Hawks 62-14. And the beat goes on.

THAT WHICH WILL BE:

  There aren't a lot of games left to be played but those that are left will determine who plays in the national championship game, who plays in the other BC$ games and who plays in the other left over meaningless bowl games.

  Alabama plays Florida for one of the spots in the national championship game. This played out just like the SEC hoped it would and just like the SEC refs made sure it would. Despite The Snake, we're rooting for Alabama so we don't have to hear about the good works of Tim Tebow for another week or two from the regular bowl games until the championship game.

  USC travels to Arizona to decide the final standings in the PAC 10. Petey is still pissed but Arizona has a chance.

  Army plays Navy but not until the 12th. This is a great game that means everything to the guys on the field, not to mention the soldiers in some desolate corner of Afghanistan or the sailors riding out a storm in the North Atlantic. Being an ex squid, I root for Navy but it won't break my heart if Army wins. There are no losers in this game.

  Cal will beat Washington to go 9-3 on the season.

  Cincinnati plays at Pitt for the Big Least championship and a shot at the national championship should Texas lose to Nebraska. Brian Kelly actually wants the $Notre Dame job. And seeing as how in the future Charlie Weis will merely be eating turkey on Thanksgiving this game will go a long way in determining if Kelly is good enough for $Notre Dame. And oh, by the way, Charlie will be eating that turkey with a decided schematic advantage.

  South Florida goes to UConn. I hope its 20 degrees with 30 mile per hour winds and maybe some sleet.

  Florida Atlantic goes to the airport to play Florida International. When they set this up as the last game of the year do you suppose they were thinking it could be like Ohio State/meeeshitagin some day?

  Illinois plays Fresno State. Come on Zook, give it up. The season will be over for two weeks and you are STILL embarrassing the Big Ten.

  Wisconsin travels to Hawaii. Can the cheeseheads adjust to the balmy islands and the tainted refs? Yeah, unless John Clay comes up missing.

  New Mexico State, of 3-9 fame, travels to Boise State to incur a major beat down on the blue field. I say Boise shows no mercy and scores 70 points on the Lobos.

  Texas and Nebraska battle it out for the Big 12 championship. If Texas wins they are in the big show, if Nebraska wins Tim Tebow gets another Heisman with a win over Alabama. Hook em Horns!

  Albright College of Doylestown, PA, beat Delaware Valley College 27-3 to earn the right to go to Mount Union and take on the Purple Raiders. They will come to town with an 11-1 record. The only loss during the regular season was to Delaware Valley College. Revenge is sweet but can also get you in deep, dark, evil pooh pooh.

 Buckeye fans, how can you not cheer for this?

  The Oregon State Beavers travel to Eugene to take on the Oregon Ducks in what has been quacked up to be quite a game. The winner gets to play The Ohio State University in the Rose Bowl. The Ducks are 9-2 and the Beavers are 8-3. The Ducks run a spread type offense and average 40 points a game. Tressel shakes his head at that and wonders why they just don't get it. The Beavers run a pro type set with a couple of really good running backs. I really don't care who we play, neither has seen a defense like ours nor seem to have much of a defense themselves. Of course, getting to play with Beavers or Ducks, the Buckeyes will take Beavers any day.

The Coach