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QUACK QUACK  -  BANG BANG.

What a great win for the Buckeyes. What a great win for the Big Ten. Ohio State spent most of the month leading up to the Rose Bowl complimenting and praising the Oregon football team and Oregon spent most of the month leading up to the Rose Bowl complimenting and praising the Oregon football team. They believed all of the bullshit ESPN was feeding the country about how the Ducks were the most prolific offense in the history of prolific offenses and Ohio State was just another big, slow, lumbering, plodding, feet in the mud, knuckle dragging Big Ten team. And then they met a defense that had more "speed" than their vaunted offense and the mighty Ducks turned into the mauled Mallards.

I'm not a big one for stats but Terrelle Pryor accounted for 336 yards of offense on his own and the entire Oregon offense, known for numbers of Biblical proportions, only totaled 250 yards. We owned time of possession by 42 minutes to 18 minutes (a Rose Bowl record) and gave them the ball on or about the fifty yard line after every kickoff due to the worst kick coverage in the Tressel years. And STILL, they couldn't score more than 17 points! What a defense!

"The odds of Tressel calling over 20 passes on first down are about the same as John Wayne being Master of Ceremonies at a gay pride parade."

And how about the coaching job? For a month leading up to the game Tressel talked about how good our running game was the last five games of the season and Oregon spent every practice getting ready to shut down Boom and Zoom and the Quarterback of Doom. Then Tressel comes out and calls six or seven straight passes on the first drive. He called well over 40 passes of which 37 were actually thrown and 23 were completed. Hell, he called over 20 passes on first down! The odds of Tressel calling over 20 passes on first down are about the same as John Wayne being Master of Ceremonies at a gay pride parade. I think the reason the offense finally jelled was that it was the first time all year that the offensive line was healthy and they were all playing in their normal position on the line. This game was a glimpse of what we can expect to see in 2010.

My two favorite plays in the Rose Bowl were turned in by Blount and Ballard. With Oregon driving to take to lead back, Blount missed the hand off and then kicked the fumble through the end zone thus turning the ball over to us on the twenty yard line. I thought allowing him to return to football for the last two games of the season could end up costing us the game and instead, it may have cost Oregon the game. Then, late in the game and hanging on to a slim 19-17 lead and facing a third down and thirteen at around mid field, Terrelle Pryor scrambled and was being pulled to the ground and heaved a Hail Mary floater that Ballard leaped up high enough to dunk a basketball and finger tipped the best catch of his life. That catch was every bit as good and as important as Stablien's summersault catch on the fifty yard line and Gonzo's game saving catch on the four yard line against meeeshitagin teams, or Bobby Olive's last second end zone catch to beat LSU or Rickey Dudley's snag on the twenty yard line against Penn State. Instant Ohio State football lore!

"Kicking and punting was excellent but the kick coverage teams were as painful as watching your grandmother pole dance."

It was good to see Aaron Pettrey back on the field kicking field goals. Between him and Devin Barclay they were four of four on field goals. And Jon Thoma, who has struggled at times this year, averaged nearly 44 yards per punt. Kicking and punting was excellent but the kick coverage teams were as painful as watching your grandmother pole dance. Oregon returned six kickoffs for 171 yards. That is NOT Tresselball and will be a major priority for spring practice.

"Add Navy in the mix and Ohio State is the only team in division one football to beat five teams with at least ten wins."

All in all, it turned out to be a great season. We lost the USC game because Tressel refused to attack them and called one of the worst games of his nine years at Ohio State. And the worse USC got over the year, the more that loss hurt. At Purdue the team showed up half asleep. The offensive line was crippled and crazy and Terrelle Pryor turned the ball over four times. Put that one on him. But going 11-2 with big wins over Penn State, Iowa, Wisconsin, meeeshitagin and Oregon ain't so bad. Add Navy in the mix and Ohio State is the only team in division one football to beat five teams with at least ten wins. Considering the fact that coming into this year we had lost twenty-eight seniors to graduation and three juniors to the NFL, I would say, yes, it turned out to be a great season.

NIS & NAT & NARYTANE:

In my last letter I predicted a 31-17 win for the Buckeyes. I didn't hit it spot on but I think it was close enough to win a Nobel Peace Prize.

For meeeshitagin fans, watching the Rose Bowl had to be right up there with a root canal with no Novocain and a dull drill bit. For weeks leading up to the game their chat rooms and blogs were loaded with statements like "Ohio State is going to find out what it is like to play a true spread and read offense." and "They are going to find out what is in store for them next November." At the end of the game they had to be sitting around their TV's saying, "Oh my God, we're toast."

But for one Jake Ballard play, instead of recruiting tight ends and making them offensive linemen, Ohio State should just recruit offensive linemen and tell one of them, "You are going to be an offensive lineman but you are going to line up where other teams use tight ends." Why make a guy switch positions? Jake Stoneburner came to Ohio State as one of the best receivers in the country. He red-shirted and put on about thirty pounds and was moved to tight end. I couldn't wait to see this guy burn linebackers. When it didn't happen right away I thought, "Just wait until the second half of the season." Then it was, "They must be saving him for that November stretch." Then I thought it must be the meeeshitagin game for which they were saving him. Then I figured with a month of practice it had to be for the Rose Bowl. After the first quarter I said, "Must be saving him for the second half." And finally, "This guy is going to win the game for us in the fourth quarter." Alas, Tressel is saving him for next year. But boy is he going to be something!

"Anderson Russell is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. He is a two year starter and puts his heart and soul into Ohio State football. That being said, he has to hold the Ohio State record for missed interceptions. The man has hands like waffle irons. He's had more balls bounce off of his chest than Linda Lovelace."

From everything I have read, Anderson Russell is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. He is a two year starter and puts his heart and soul into Ohio State football. That being said, he has to hold the Ohio State record for missed interceptions. The man has hands like waffle irons. He's had more balls bounce off of his chest than Linda Lovelace. Maybe the Browns will draft him as a wide receiver. Why not, they drafted Braylon Edwards.

The Big Ten was awesome. It was the first conference to beat four top fifteen bowl teams since 1998 and that was also the Big Ten. Our number one team beat the number one team in the PAC Ten. Our number two team beat the number one team in the ACC. Our number three team beat the number three team in the SEC and our number four team beat the number four team in the ACC. Northwestern went for two in overtime against Auburn after they missed a field goal that would have won it in regulation. Minnesota was going in for the winning score with four minutes left in the game and fumbled on the fifteen yard line and lost by one point when a field goal was in the bag. So, we were not the Big Ten that ESPN has been whining about for the last three years. Hey Corso, put that in your Duck hat and smoke it.

"Jimmy Johnson talking about college football is like Nancy Pelosi talking about the space-time continuum as it relates to chaos and string theory."

The Iowa game last night was the last BCS bowl game shown on FOX. Thank God. They need to stick to pro football because they just butcher college ball. Jimmy Johnson talking about college football is like Nancy Pelosi talking about the space-time continuum as it relates to chaos and string theory.

The Ohio State Women's basketball team is 16-1 and ranked number six. Jim Foster got his 700th win last week.

Our Men's team is 10-4 but has been 3-3 since Evan Turner broke his back in a couple of places. Speaking of back, he may be back tonight or Saturday. Our team had a cumulative 3.5 GPA for the fall quarter.

Did you watch the East Carolina vs. Arkansas game? East Carolina's kicker was probably put on suicide watch after the game. He had a chance to win it with a 37 yard field goal and pushed it right. Then ECU miraculously gets the ball back and he has the same kick from the same spot and pushes it right again and they go into overtime. They hold Arkansas to a field goal and he has the same kick from the same spot to send it to a second overtime and he pushes it left. Arrrgh, we kicker were kickin' with his peg leg.

The worst bowl game of the season was the Texas Tech vs. Michigan State debacle. The announcers spent the entire game talking about the firing of Mike Leach and the suspension of fourteen Spartans. Hey guys, in case you didn't notice there was a football game going on below you. Nobody wants to hear your stupid blather, just call the damn game!

meeeshitagin is drowning in deep, dark, evil poo poo. Dick Rod has pretty much destroyed the program and I don't see him returning after next season unless he gets at least eight or nine wins. His defense was horrible this year and they lost what little talent they had. He continues to recruit kids to fit his system (small and fast) that are not getting offers from major football colleges. When he goes it will take the next coach at least three years to build the program back up with new and better talent. They could be down for four more years. Tee hee hee.

Ohio State's senior class went 44-8 for their career. 44 wins by a single senior class is an Ohio State record. How many teams would like to average 11-2 for four years? They won four Big Ten championships, played in four BCS bowl games, two national championship games and beat meeeshitagin four straight times. Sometimes his game plans absolutely drive you crazy but there is no other college football coach in America that I would rather have at Ohio State. Maybe next year he will get his first Big Ten Coach of The Year Award.

The Coach

Tags: anderson russell, bcs, jake stoneburner, jim tressel, ohio state basketball, ohio state football, thad matta