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HE STARTED LEFT AND THEN TURNED RIGHT AND THEN AN INVISIBLE CANON SHOT HIM TO THE GOAL LINE. Now THAT was a game! What can you say about traveling to Madison, Wisconsin for a prime time night game with a team that has a record sixteen straight home victories and is really pissed about last week and is fighting for their Big Ten lives?

How about if you had to do that with a freshman quarterback and a freshman center? And what if your primary backup at tailback and offensive tackle and wide receiver were also freshman? And add to that your starting tight end not making the trip. We came out and bam, bam, bam, we were down the field and in the end zone for a very quick six. I thought, uh-oh, that was way too quick. The last couple of times we scored that quick we were in for a major struggle. And then we struggled, majorly.

There were times I thought our offensive and defensive lines were hypnotized by some evil cheese head because they couldn't be as bad as they looked. Even though we are 5-1 and had just won a very difficult road game, this team has thus far been a huge disappointment to most Buckeye fans.

In the forty years I have followed the Buckeyes I can only think of a few teams that were as talented and experienced as this one. The Kern team, the Griffin team, the Spielman team and the Pace team. All of those teams had buckets full of talent but failed to get the job done in their senior seasons for one reason or another.

Our defensive line wasn't very good last year and didn't get any better over the winter. Our receivers seem to have lost a step and one of their pregame routines must be dipping their hands in butter. I thought the offensive line was going to be the best one in at least a decade but we discovered when Beanie sat out that it's Beanie, not the line. The line isn't opening holes for Beanie, it's just that the defenders can't tackle him. I'm seeing some improvements but if this team is going to the Rose Bowl it has a lot of improving to do in a very short period of time.

Now, that last drive had me off of the couch. Eighty yards in twelve plays that included two sacks and two fumbles and ate up five and a half minutes and left us on the eleven yard line with 1:08 on the clock when Terelle Pryor showed Wisconsin why he was the number one recruit in the country. Guys like him come along about once a decade and I named them earlier, Kern, Griffin, Spielman and Pace. He has his freshman moments but I cannot wait to see what he does the next two years. If our offensive line doesn't get him killed we will be talking about the Pryor team for decades to come.
 
THE WEEK THAT WAS:
  I told you that you didn't have to watch Akron play Kent St. but if you did you saw one hell of a game. Kent missed the tying field goal in the second overtime the hand the Zips some dumb ass trophy they play for. Fear the Roo.
  Like Dolly Parton, the Navy used their twin 40's to shoot down the Air Force.
  Alabama squeaked out a win over Kentucky when Kentucky's quarterback fumbled in the end zone. He learned that move from his brother who is a receiver at Ohio State. Oh, and by the way, a 17-14 win in the SEC is like a 55-0 win in any other conference.
  In a "brains over brawn" match up, Vanderbilt beat Auburn 14-13. That's like 28-0 in any other conference. Auburn has now lost two games. One more and they are out of the national championship race.
  Ball State moved to 6-0 with another convincing win and could be in a battle with Utah for that non-BCS team bowl spot in the BCS. Huh? Well, you know what I mean.
  Duke, I would like you to meet Reality and he lives at Georgia Tech. Hey, five games into the season and Duke still has a winning record at 3-2. But looking at their schedule I would guess they will end the year right around 3-9.
  Bobby Bowden beat Criami 41-39 to stay in the wrinkle race with JoePa. JoePa is one game up but Bobby is in better shape for the long haul. He doesn't have a blown knee, nor does he shit his pants on the side lines.
  The Illini, who used to be the Fighting Illini until the NCAA took away 100 years of tradition, regained a little bit of dignity by pounding the wolverettes 45-20 in the big toilet bowl. Nothing does my heart better than scanning the crowd when meeeshitagin is getting trashed. The puppy dog eyes on those long yellow-painted faces just gives me goose bumps all over.
  Missouri thumped Nebraska 52-17 and the Nebraska coach apologized to the team, the fans, and to every one ever associated with Nebraska football. Although I've always kind of liked Nebraska (mainly because they beat Oklahoma back in the Berry Shitzer days) there were no tears shed by The Coach on this one. There are certain teams that love to run up the score and Nebraska was always right up there with USC and Oklahoma and Florida and Texas and puBYU, etc. So seeing them get whacked with 52 points is only fair and just.
  North Carolina smoked UConn 38-12 which means there are no undefeated teams left in the Big Least, as it should be.
  The Ducks of Oregon invaded The Coliseum and fell to the Men of Troy 44-10. Can ducks really invade somewhere?
  State Penn moved to 6-0 with a win over Purdon't but will face Wisconsin, Ohio State and meeeshitagin in the next three weeks. If they are 9-0 they could find themselves in Miami. I would rather see them play FSU and Bobby Bowden in the Citrus Bowl which could be renamed The Geezer Bowl.
  $Notre Dame got by Stanford 28-21 but now must travel to Chapel Hill  to face the resurgent Tar Heels. Hey Butch Davis, Charlie Weis eats Tar Heels for breakfast. Along with five eggs, a slab of bacon, two loafs of toast with blackberry jelly and a triple stack of pancakes with "lite" syrup.
  Tennessee, of SEC fame, beat a directional Illinois team 13-9. I think it was the Northern team.
  I looked for the box score of the Texas Tech game and all I could find was that Kansas State threw 28 passes. As Texas Tech usually throws in the neighborhood of 70 passes it would be fair to say that a hundred passes were attempted in that game. Nowhere close to as many as Bill Clinton would have thrown at the women's volleyball team.
 
THE WEEK THAT WILL BE:
  There are a few good games this week and I'm not only going to tell you about the ones worth watching but this week I'm also going to tell you who to root for.
 
  Clems-son at Wake Forest. For you Yankees, Wake Forest is not in Wake Forest, N. Carolina, it's in Winston-Salem. Ya'all get your shit together. Root for Wake because its a good school that has been down since sputnik was launched and besides, you should always root for anyone playing Clems-son.
  East Carolina at Virginia. Root for East Carolina because they are the Pirates (cool mascot) and Virginia is swinging to the Obama camp.
  LSU at Florida. Exercise those eyes, its the SEC in all of their glory. Root for anyone you want but LSU has more to lose. Then again, seeing Dr. T-Bone Tebow cry like a baby as he did after the loss to Mississippi is as good as seeing those long faces on the meeeshitagin fans. I'm really torn here.
  Tennessee at Georgia. Booorrring. Root for Tennessee but don't expect to win that one.
  Toledo at meeeshitagin. Always, I repeat, always root for whoever is playing meeeshitagin. The Toledo Rockets are 1-4 so Rich-Rod may have a chance this week if he doesn't turn the ball over 400 times.
  Michigan State at Northwestern. This should be one hell of a good game. Mich. St. is 5-1 and Northwestern is 5-0 but hasn't played anyone as good as the Spitoons. Northwestern is always tough at home and an upset wouldn't surprise me. Brains or brawn, take your pick in this one.
  Nebraska at Texas Tech. Nebraska's football program is going down faster than my 401K, which, by the way, is now a 201K. Root for Texas Tech because they still have to play Texas and Oklahoma and they should lose one of those.
  Purdon't at Ohio State. Watch this just to see the magic that is Terelle Pryor. One week he knocks a linebacker into the Gatorade and the next he leads a forth quarter come from behind 80 yard drive to win a tough game on the road. What's next for this kid? Levitation?
  Oklahoma and Texas meet in the Red River something or other. This should be the game of the week. Oklahoma is #1 and Texas is #5. Both are 5-0. The Sooners have outscored their opponents 248-69 and Texas has outscored their opponents 236-57. Root for Texas because if they win you just know Mack Brown is going to lose one he shouldn't somewhere along the line which would leave them both with one loss.
  State Penn at Wisconsin. Whiskey just lost two close heart breakers but I don't think JoePa scares them and I look for an upset in the land of dairy products. Whacha tink o' dat, eh?
  Capitol at Mount Union. Both are 4-0 and Mount is ranked #1 in Division III, as usual. Mount has a senior running back named Nate Kmic. This week in a 48-3 thrashing of Baldwin Wallace, Kmic scored four TD's to tie the all time Div III record at 91 and he still has anywhere from six to eleven more games in his career depending on how far they go into the Div III playoffs. He also has rushed for 6,003 yards which moves him into fifth place all time in Div III. The all time leader is R.J. Bowers (7,353 yards) who played at Grove City College (Pa.) from 1997 to 2000. If Mount makes it to the playoff finals Kmic would only have to average 123 yards a game to get that record and I don't see his team mates letting him miss that record. Being a good coach, I will keep you informed. Unless you are Charlie Deeds, who graduated from BW, always root for Mount just to see the legend grow.

Tags: ohio state football, terrelle pryor